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Yes, I have a strong sense of continuity from my earliest being until now. Along the way, I added certain personality traits to help me cope with the external world I lived in (and have had to peel the negative ones back off as a maturing adult) but the essential “me” has remained the same. The feelings and sensitivities I had as a young child are the same ones I have today. I have always been drawn to nature, beauty, color, creativity, humor, and in making things better. Kindness and fairness. People and what makes them tick. It’s fun to think about how these interests were present in a very young me.

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I feel like the same person too. I do see some of the same negative (or at least I consider them negative) traits in myself too, but maybe to a lesser degree than they used to be as I've learned to cope better as I've gotten older. But I do always feel those tendencies are there.

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Nature has held my interest for the last 64 years

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Me too! I think it always will.

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Whoa. I thought I was the only person who felt ... anxious about how many things I want to know and do and how long I have to do them. I guess I'm not alone. It makes it hard to remember to enjoy things, rather than rush through them. I find, a lot of the time, I seem to remember more of my "past life" up to this point than a lot of people I've talked about this with. I keep reminding myself that it's important to be able to look back at where you've come from, or how far you've come. Recently, I find myself thinking that I had "lost" parts of me that I used to enjoy, and I am coming back to them. Maybe this ebb and flow is more common than I thought. Thanks for sharing this post!

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I thought some of the comments in that linked thread were really helpful for reframing this particular neurosis, which I definitely share.

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Have you ever heard the saying, “The best PhD dissertation is a completed dissertation”? I completed my PhD while working full time and parenting three children. The job I had, which our family desperately needed, required me to complete my PhD. I very quickly, if painfully, adapted to just getting it done, crossing my fingers that it would be good enough. This carried on for years while I submitted articles for publication, in order to earn tenure. I just had to submit them, and get feedback, always before I felt they were ready!! And you know what? It all worked out, and the confidence I developed was life-changing. I’m sure you’ve experienced similar situations as a successful business owner.

Also, my mom always told me that the very best art is flawed, which reflects the human condition.

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Love your links. Each week they keep me thoughtfully occupied for a good hour! Thank you Sarai.

In terms of whether or not I am the same person I was as a child, I think absolutely yes in terms of my interests. I just seem to do the same things over and over again: cook, sew, walk and read! I am not at all the perfectionist I was as a child, which is a great relief. I taught adults for years and did come across individuals who had really changed, or were in the midst of changing, as an adult. But I seemed to grow deeper into the self I was from the beginning.

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It's interesting that you say you were a perfectionist as a child and grew out of that! I feel like I became more perfectionist as I got older, but now am trying to swing back the other way.

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I've maintained most of my interests from earliest childhood through early teen years, although I've also accrued new ones in a barnacle like fashion (mostly related to my early ones) as the years have gone by. I attribute having become a costume designer to my very early interest in Barbie dolls (there's a photo of me at age 3 or earlier, holding my first Barbie). I dressed my Barbies and then my friends (another photo of me, flanked by two friends, seated on the piano bench—I'd costumed my friends, but, as usual, I was wearing my normal clothes. Barbie and Ken were seated on top of the piano). I added a deep and abiding passion for historical costume around 7th grade, when Masterpiece Theatre aired the BBC "Six Wives of Henry VIII" and "Elizabeth R." I was totally consumed and read every book in the local library on Tudor and Elizabethan history, and then the hold costume/clothing section (it was a relatively small library). Those interests abide to this day and the net has widened to include many related subjects. And really, this is just an example, because in most other ways, I am the same person. It's the kind of thing where, if you increase the magnification, and keep looking, you keep finding more to see, but you're still looking at the same thing.

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Should you decide to tackle Tale of Genji, I highly recommend reading Ivan Morris’ “The World of the Shining Prince” alongside it. It adds so much meaning and valuable background info on court life, making “Genji Monogatari” a richer reading experience, albeit a longer one…oh, and I am the same person I was as a child in that I LOVE to read and am not intimidated by long-ass books. Haha.

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Oh, thank you for the rec! I bought a copy of Tale of Genji in a used bookshop probably over a decade ago and don't know if I still have it. It's one I've always wanted to read.

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November 1, 2022
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November 1, 2022
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Yes, it does! I'm aware of Seven Up but I've never actually seen it. It sounds fascinating, though.

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