We will never do all the things we want to do, nor all the things we should do. There are just too many of them. It’s impossible! The options, in terms of responsibilities we take on, or creative pursuits we pursue, are truly limitless. In my experience, the satisfaction and joy comes in choosing to do something (small or large, want to do or should do) and deeply engaging in it while we do it, then taking a break and choosing to move on to something else that feels right for that next moment. If something really matters to you, it will get done one day, when circumstances allow or supposedly insurmountable barriers just become meaningless. We are not here to make over the world, just to participate in it day by day, bringing our selves to our tasks or leisure and trusting that is enough.
I moved from my ideal small home to a bedroom for sleeping and sewing. Nothing is ideal and I've tried to change the arrangement. It has taken me almost two years living in this space to realise this is the space I have. I have now rearranged certain things, bought a cabinet for all sewing accessories. I am also donating and selling all fabric that I know I cannot possible use up. I am 75 and have just started to sew again. I plan better now. Choose design and fabric. Then cut it out - 2 projects only. Then sew in small batches. I chain piece quilt blocks. And Voila I am on the stitching band wagon again. No matter how slow it is taking me out of the doldrums. Thank you for letting me share this.
This is a forced fabric cleanout. No space. I look and ask, what will I make? who would like this and so on. Then out it goes. Sometimes I cut a 2 1/2" strip for my postage stamp quilt.
Thank you for responding. I appreciate it. As I have adrenal burnout I only sew for short periods of time. Never more than an hour. I have found donating fabric in South Africa is very tedious and tiring. People want it and don't want to fetch it. It's free. So I am looking at other African countries to donate it to. I know of a few that have community projects. Keep well and I loved your newsletter.
Patricia, this is a difficult place to be. I belong to a quilting guild and many of our members ore older. The need to move house or downsize has presented a challenge for many. You have persevered in your own way and that is a massive accomplishment. As one of my friends says, you do what you can so the joy persists. Sometimes it isn't what you most enjoyed but it still feeds that creative urge.
Thank you Anne. Its not yet finished and am slowing getting things out of the bedroom/Sewing room and donating most of it. Your comment on enjoying and jobs fills my sould.
Wow, this new arena of “making time” is very interesting and certainly worthy of discussion! Here’s my two cents!….
I’m a sewist/fiber artist who owns and operates a private sewing and quilting studio! I teach the art of sewing and create custom orders for clients! I’m a one women show and blessed to be busy with a nice following! As you can imagine my life is filled with “shoulds”!!! —and let me make this very clear—Again I’m blessed to love the “should” work and truly enjoy my business and daily tasks! With that said —my hobby -turned business, definitely changed and perhaps off-balanced some personal joy!
People think that my day is spent leisurely sewing all day! Certainly not the case! Often my days are spent with technology, and the business side verses the creative side! Other days I’m planning classes, new projects, and of course teaching and creating for others! Most days I’m playing “catch-up”!!! And yes it often feels like a rat race! What I miss most is what I call the frivolous, personal, “joyful me” sewing and creating! The no purpose, no reason creating! I remember in my earlier days when things were much less hectic—I would sew , and experiment with techniques just because! No reason! I created several special occasion dresses -because I loved creating with those fancy, fun and elegant fabrics. After they were completed —I’d model them in the mirror and realize I was all dressed up with no where to go! But that was perfectly fine, it was a learning and joyous adventure in which I loved the planning , creating, and process! —And yes, I’ve pulled those dresses out and proudly wore them when occasions and invites emerged! I’m glad I had them on hand because with my current responsibilities that kind of creating has become limited for me!
In essence I think this all boils down to balance —which can be difficult to achieve and even harder to manage. We want it all! But in reality we can’t have it all! But we can create better balance through compromise. For years I’ve tried to “make time” until I realized —we can’t “make time”—that part is already pre-planned as a day only has 24 hours! What we do with our time and how we manage it, is where we have choices. Recently after not feeling well—I had to temporary cancel my classes and put a hold on client orders! I was in a panic state having to do this! Although far from an enjoyable experience, lessons were learned. You can stop to breath and life doesn’t fall apart. Yes, we really do have moments in the day that we can set aside for personal creative joy and growth, and still do the “shoulds”! We just don’t stop to treat ourselves to those joyful tidbits often enough if at all!
My recent events taught me —we need two lists or goal plans—a “should “ list and a “wanna” list”!—and sometimes choosing the latter—creates that balance we need at that moment! Doing this periodically can actually make the “should” list feel less like a chaotic rat race!
Hoping this offers some insight—
Blessings to all for a happy and creative life!❤️✂️🧵
Your story sounds very much like mine, Renee. When I started my business, working on my own, I did what was interesting to me and put it out there and found people who liked it. Now, like you, I spend my days trying to catch up, keep my promises, and plan.
And honestly, I love it most of the time. And even when I don't love it, I feel like I'm learning and growing from the struggle. I still get to do a whole lot of creative work, even if it's different.
And part of me wonders if I'm just romanticizing the early days, because those were hard too! Probably a lot harder, if I really think about it.
Yes, very true —my early days to build my business were very hard! After retiring relatively early from a career as a medical/psychiatric social worker—I revamped a hobby and my creative spirit —combining my therapeutic skills as a social worker to create a new business —it was thrilling, but the hardest I ever worked! —you’ve reminded me of that by looking back!
Today, I don’t work as hard in certain ways, but still race around with lots to do on the “should” list —and some guilt when I do my “wants” or just want to “play”! Life is never perfect—and so very true about romancing the past! The past had its issues as well!
Again, I think it’s about balance! Not denying ourself a treat -realizing our world (or business will not collapse if we do)! In life, as in business , we need to balance our should list and our wants! like a swinging pendulum, life will ebb and flow—but it’s nice to sometimes wind up in the middle!❤️
I’ve always enjoyed reading and listening to both you and Halie (hoping I spelt her name right-apologies if I did not)—you are both passionate with lots of creative spirit! And I think that’s the key! Not to lose the spirit and the joy! When the pendulum swings to far to the racing side —and the joy seems hidden—it’s time to step back and rekindle the reason we started doing what we do in the first place!
Keep doing your passion, keep the the spirit alive, the struggles are real —but always recognize and make the joyful part shine bright!—at least that’s what keeps me going!—hugs to you for the work you do, the passion you hold, and the love you share!❤️✂️🧵
I’m excited to follow along! Your current situation sounds similar to mine - plenty of land, a work from home setup, and the time and space to be creative - except the creative endeavors aren’t happening. The slow down isn’t happening. I hate it. I love encouraging others to embrace a slow productivity mindset where the whole self and relationships are the priority. I’m not doing it with myself though.
One item to do this week - hang up the items I got to start a gallery wall even though I know I’ll have to take them down to paint.
Isn't it incredible? I feel like I've been given this wonderful gift and I have no idea how to use it, so I'm just using it as a doorstop until I figure it out.
And I JUST hung a bunch of pictures in my house! I was so tired of staring at blank walls. It feels good.
It's so weird to see this as a commonality. We spent 2020-21 doing a HUGE basement remodel that added 600 sq ft to our house as an ART STUDIO for me. But the upstairs isn't "done" by any means and all our art is stacked in the living room...
Despite having the space now and "plenty of time", I am also having trouble establishing a regular art practice. Everything else seems more important or urgent. :/ Here's hoping we can find ways to encourage each other.
ohh, the many layers of "should" it's a bit scary how many of us turn to crafts for the relaxation, joy, and slower pace of it all, and then proceed to make it into another task that has to be done. While I'm glad I'm not the only one letting this suck the joy out of my creativity, I'm also a little sad for us all. I look forward to reading about your thoughts and actions, and, based on what I have read through today, the wonderful insight and contributions of the rest of this new community! I'm glad you hit publish.
Like everyone else here, I have allowed my "shoulds" to take over my life to the point that I also suffer from analysis paralysis. Part of my "shoulds" however also involve inventorying all of the quilting and apparel stash that I have just moved into a storage unit because I have to downsize into an apartment from a 2100 square foot house. The storage unit is 10'x30' and it's packed to the gills. I have no idea what's in each tub, so even if I had a plan to sew or do any of the embellishment stuff I want to try, I don't know where most of anything is. SO my should in this case is a pretty firm reminder that I have to make at least 10 hours a week to inventory tubs in the storage unit so I'll know where to look when I have the scheduled time to be creative. And if anyone tells you that you'll have more time when you retire - they haven't retired.
I'm using Airtable to keep track of what I own so I'll know where to go when I am ready to make my next creation, and if I have an accurate inventory of where each piece of fabric is, it will make it so much easier to find what I'm looking for. I have already used 60 adhesive pockets, one on the end of each tub, with more still to adhere, and that doesn't include the two cedar chests. When I finally get a chance to "shop my stash", my stash will be on that Airtable spread sheet. At this moment, I don't even remember all of the fabric that I own. Just moving the tubs into the storage unit has been enlightening as I'm opening each one to throw in some dessicant to keep the fabric from getting moldy or musty and a dryer sheet to keep the critters away. Every tub I open is like buying the fabric all over again. I have more fabric than I'll be able to sew in the remainder of my lifetime!!
I feel like I'm right in the same spot. We moved in 2020 and settled in a house with 4 acres and there is so much to do its constantly overwhelming. With work and the house my mental energy can be non-existant. I was just watching a youtube video discussing creative blockers and one comment that stayed with me was just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean that it doesn't have value. That inspires me that even if I spend 5 minutes creating something I enjoy its worth it. Glad you started this.
That is definitely true. I'm going to keep that in mind tonight, as my plan is to sit down and do some drawing with a totally new medium. I'm definitely feeling the resistance, knowing it won't be perfect.
And yes! Who knew managing land would actually be work?! I do love it, though.
"to share the slow, quiet, internal journey towards enjoying every moment of this short life" – I loved that line. Congrats on starting this Sarai. I agree completely, writing expands my lens on the world too. Looking forward to more!
"I often feel I'm on a treadmill going just a bit too fast, with no way to hop off." - wow. I felt this word for word. Thank you for sharing and making those of us feeling the same feel a little bit less alone!
For me, my to-do item this week is 30 minutes at least three days this week where I sit down and just create. I let everything else stack on top of what I really love to do, and my creative endeavors get pushed to the bottom of the list. Writing that out, I think I'll create an entirely separate creative list so that it doesn't feel like I'm constantly putting everything else over top of what I want to do creatively.
That's a great idea, and one I've been thinking about two. I've been considering building in a couple hours of "creative time" each week, where I do whatever I want, be it drawing, painting, sewing, writing, whatever. Maybe a future prompt I can think about including.
So well said. Often, over my working outside the home years, I felt that if I could just work at home...I finally am working at home (not paid) and I still struggle "to get done." I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. It seems to be a human condition. Thanks for writing this. I won't promise to read every single one, however, I will promise to try. I have unsubscribed to quite a number of things lately (time sucks I called them) just so my inbox will not get so full everyday. It takes too much time to sort it daily.
What this made me think of is the luxury we have of worrying about if we are busy, or not. There are people hiding in basements hoping they won’t be bombed or walking displaced along a road with little children having no idea what may come next…yet still, though we could be perfectly happy in our circumstances, we torture ourselves. Why do we do this? Why does our mind not go in the direction of contentment, but cause us to create chaos so that we cannot even see the peace we have?
I've thought about this a lot too, Mary. I'm sure I'll write more about it, but I think a lot has to do with evolutionary survival and the way our brains work. Nature wants us to live, and does not care if we are happy. So our brains are made to find problem, to worry, even when we have every reason to relax. Anyway, I'm sure that's a large part of it.
So maybe it’s those responses we need to really “unpick” and being aware and grateful for what we do have might be a good starting point?❤️
I heard recently that the key to life is making your choices congruent with your true hearts desire. When the pattern pieces match up, it’s well drafted…same with our choices and our heart. Let’s aim to live a well drafted life!
Thank you for this. I have felt the same especially this year. I make time for laundry but not for creating. I am also putting more effort into connecting with people I have lost touch with. I tend to do what needs to be done, not with what I want to do. The comments are inspiring also.
Love this! I also feel like everything has to be elevated to a "should" for me to take time to do it, so this post resonates so deeply with me. Your head/heart/hands division reminds me of an incredible Vermont-based magazine, called Taproot, that you might enjoy (and it's ad-free! woohoo!). Looking forward to more of your insights. :)
It's so difficult to get away from all the "shoulds". And I will have to get Taproot! I've seen it here and there at newsstands and thought it looked interesting, but have yet to read it.
One thing I do is start with "bad" drawing or "bad" writing. I'll just start drawing anything to get going on making my drawings and get unblocked. I will often (although not always) label them with "BAD DRAWING" in all caps. Then I keep drawing. It's to help me remember that nothing I do has to be perfect in order to get the job done. In fact I try also to remember Taylor Mac's words: "Perfection is for a**holes, craft is everything."
This is fantastic, I love the idea of labeling them that way to take the pressure off. Reminds me of Anne Lamott's concept of "shitty first drafts" which has been a saving grace in every creative thing I've ever tried.
Congratulations on leaving the city. My husband and I did the same thing in 2010. I was still working and commuting at the time so the change was not dramatic. It was over a number of years that I was able to connect with the rhythm of the land, the seasons, the weather:
In spring (sometimes early summer) we celebrate Room Temperature Day. In the garden there is Planting Day and I rely upon neighbors who are native to western Washington to let me know when it is safe to put out starts and plant seeds.
The first substantial rain of the season usually comes in September although August is not unheard of. I am always surprised by my relief when it turns wet. Maybe it's because I grew up in warm weather and drought. The way I see it rain is always welcome. Even if the rainy season lasts eight months I will look forward to its return.
Somewhere in September or October we plan a Furwood Harvest Dinner around the garden veggies and invite friends to bring their home grown and homemade goodies for a thanksgiving of sorts.
If we're lucky in winter we have snow days. I don't think I had truly lived until I walked through our forest of fir trees in the falling snow.
Living in the country makes it easy to mark the seasons and celebrate but we had our own city routines too. Friday night has been pizza night for as long as I can remember. We also woke up early once a week to get breakfast together on Thursdays, a custom we call "So Happy It's Thursday" (although we used the acronym).
My take is that ritual is important if not essential in our lives no matter where you live. Rituals like religious or national holidays or even the silly made-up ones get us to slow down, put work aside, enjoy each others' company and live in the moment.
Thank you for the reflection your column has brought me. I had not noticed my own need to slow down until you mentioned it. Peace to you.
I can relate to that feeling of everything feels like it’s on a to do list. Even the fun things. I turned 50 this year and my body tells me to rest. So I’m getting better at doing nothing. And amazingly I actually feel more accomplished and calmer. We need time to rest.
We will never do all the things we want to do, nor all the things we should do. There are just too many of them. It’s impossible! The options, in terms of responsibilities we take on, or creative pursuits we pursue, are truly limitless. In my experience, the satisfaction and joy comes in choosing to do something (small or large, want to do or should do) and deeply engaging in it while we do it, then taking a break and choosing to move on to something else that feels right for that next moment. If something really matters to you, it will get done one day, when circumstances allow or supposedly insurmountable barriers just become meaningless. We are not here to make over the world, just to participate in it day by day, bringing our selves to our tasks or leisure and trusting that is enough.
Very wise words. Thank you, Susan.
Thank you for your thought-provoking post, Sarai.
I moved from my ideal small home to a bedroom for sleeping and sewing. Nothing is ideal and I've tried to change the arrangement. It has taken me almost two years living in this space to realise this is the space I have. I have now rearranged certain things, bought a cabinet for all sewing accessories. I am also donating and selling all fabric that I know I cannot possible use up. I am 75 and have just started to sew again. I plan better now. Choose design and fabric. Then cut it out - 2 projects only. Then sew in small batches. I chain piece quilt blocks. And Voila I am on the stitching band wagon again. No matter how slow it is taking me out of the doldrums. Thank you for letting me share this.
I try to follow a similar process to yours, Patricia. I should probably do a fabric clean out too. :)
This is a forced fabric cleanout. No space. I look and ask, what will I make? who would like this and so on. Then out it goes. Sometimes I cut a 2 1/2" strip for my postage stamp quilt.
Thank you for responding. I appreciate it. As I have adrenal burnout I only sew for short periods of time. Never more than an hour. I have found donating fabric in South Africa is very tedious and tiring. People want it and don't want to fetch it. It's free. So I am looking at other African countries to donate it to. I know of a few that have community projects. Keep well and I loved your newsletter.
Patricia, this is a difficult place to be. I belong to a quilting guild and many of our members ore older. The need to move house or downsize has presented a challenge for many. You have persevered in your own way and that is a massive accomplishment. As one of my friends says, you do what you can so the joy persists. Sometimes it isn't what you most enjoyed but it still feeds that creative urge.
Thank you Anne. Its not yet finished and am slowing getting things out of the bedroom/Sewing room and donating most of it. Your comment on enjoying and jobs fills my sould.
Hi Sarai
Wow, this new arena of “making time” is very interesting and certainly worthy of discussion! Here’s my two cents!….
I’m a sewist/fiber artist who owns and operates a private sewing and quilting studio! I teach the art of sewing and create custom orders for clients! I’m a one women show and blessed to be busy with a nice following! As you can imagine my life is filled with “shoulds”!!! —and let me make this very clear—Again I’m blessed to love the “should” work and truly enjoy my business and daily tasks! With that said —my hobby -turned business, definitely changed and perhaps off-balanced some personal joy!
People think that my day is spent leisurely sewing all day! Certainly not the case! Often my days are spent with technology, and the business side verses the creative side! Other days I’m planning classes, new projects, and of course teaching and creating for others! Most days I’m playing “catch-up”!!! And yes it often feels like a rat race! What I miss most is what I call the frivolous, personal, “joyful me” sewing and creating! The no purpose, no reason creating! I remember in my earlier days when things were much less hectic—I would sew , and experiment with techniques just because! No reason! I created several special occasion dresses -because I loved creating with those fancy, fun and elegant fabrics. After they were completed —I’d model them in the mirror and realize I was all dressed up with no where to go! But that was perfectly fine, it was a learning and joyous adventure in which I loved the planning , creating, and process! —And yes, I’ve pulled those dresses out and proudly wore them when occasions and invites emerged! I’m glad I had them on hand because with my current responsibilities that kind of creating has become limited for me!
In essence I think this all boils down to balance —which can be difficult to achieve and even harder to manage. We want it all! But in reality we can’t have it all! But we can create better balance through compromise. For years I’ve tried to “make time” until I realized —we can’t “make time”—that part is already pre-planned as a day only has 24 hours! What we do with our time and how we manage it, is where we have choices. Recently after not feeling well—I had to temporary cancel my classes and put a hold on client orders! I was in a panic state having to do this! Although far from an enjoyable experience, lessons were learned. You can stop to breath and life doesn’t fall apart. Yes, we really do have moments in the day that we can set aside for personal creative joy and growth, and still do the “shoulds”! We just don’t stop to treat ourselves to those joyful tidbits often enough if at all!
My recent events taught me —we need two lists or goal plans—a “should “ list and a “wanna” list”!—and sometimes choosing the latter—creates that balance we need at that moment! Doing this periodically can actually make the “should” list feel less like a chaotic rat race!
Hoping this offers some insight—
Blessings to all for a happy and creative life!❤️✂️🧵
Your story sounds very much like mine, Renee. When I started my business, working on my own, I did what was interesting to me and put it out there and found people who liked it. Now, like you, I spend my days trying to catch up, keep my promises, and plan.
And honestly, I love it most of the time. And even when I don't love it, I feel like I'm learning and growing from the struggle. I still get to do a whole lot of creative work, even if it's different.
And part of me wonders if I'm just romanticizing the early days, because those were hard too! Probably a lot harder, if I really think about it.
Yes, very true —my early days to build my business were very hard! After retiring relatively early from a career as a medical/psychiatric social worker—I revamped a hobby and my creative spirit —combining my therapeutic skills as a social worker to create a new business —it was thrilling, but the hardest I ever worked! —you’ve reminded me of that by looking back!
Today, I don’t work as hard in certain ways, but still race around with lots to do on the “should” list —and some guilt when I do my “wants” or just want to “play”! Life is never perfect—and so very true about romancing the past! The past had its issues as well!
Again, I think it’s about balance! Not denying ourself a treat -realizing our world (or business will not collapse if we do)! In life, as in business , we need to balance our should list and our wants! like a swinging pendulum, life will ebb and flow—but it’s nice to sometimes wind up in the middle!❤️
I’ve always enjoyed reading and listening to both you and Halie (hoping I spelt her name right-apologies if I did not)—you are both passionate with lots of creative spirit! And I think that’s the key! Not to lose the spirit and the joy! When the pendulum swings to far to the racing side —and the joy seems hidden—it’s time to step back and rekindle the reason we started doing what we do in the first place!
Keep doing your passion, keep the the spirit alive, the struggles are real —but always recognize and make the joyful part shine bright!—at least that’s what keeps me going!—hugs to you for the work you do, the passion you hold, and the love you share!❤️✂️🧵
Renee❤️
I’m excited to follow along! Your current situation sounds similar to mine - plenty of land, a work from home setup, and the time and space to be creative - except the creative endeavors aren’t happening. The slow down isn’t happening. I hate it. I love encouraging others to embrace a slow productivity mindset where the whole self and relationships are the priority. I’m not doing it with myself though.
One item to do this week - hang up the items I got to start a gallery wall even though I know I’ll have to take them down to paint.
Isn't it incredible? I feel like I've been given this wonderful gift and I have no idea how to use it, so I'm just using it as a doorstop until I figure it out.
And I JUST hung a bunch of pictures in my house! I was so tired of staring at blank walls. It feels good.
I'm with you on the gallery wall. My husband just asked me the other day why all our art was on the floor. 🙄
It's so weird to see this as a commonality. We spent 2020-21 doing a HUGE basement remodel that added 600 sq ft to our house as an ART STUDIO for me. But the upstairs isn't "done" by any means and all our art is stacked in the living room...
Despite having the space now and "plenty of time", I am also having trouble establishing a regular art practice. Everything else seems more important or urgent. :/ Here's hoping we can find ways to encourage each other.
ohh, the many layers of "should" it's a bit scary how many of us turn to crafts for the relaxation, joy, and slower pace of it all, and then proceed to make it into another task that has to be done. While I'm glad I'm not the only one letting this suck the joy out of my creativity, I'm also a little sad for us all. I look forward to reading about your thoughts and actions, and, based on what I have read through today, the wonderful insight and contributions of the rest of this new community! I'm glad you hit publish.
Yes, aren't the comments so wonderful and insightful? I am blown away.
Like everyone else here, I have allowed my "shoulds" to take over my life to the point that I also suffer from analysis paralysis. Part of my "shoulds" however also involve inventorying all of the quilting and apparel stash that I have just moved into a storage unit because I have to downsize into an apartment from a 2100 square foot house. The storage unit is 10'x30' and it's packed to the gills. I have no idea what's in each tub, so even if I had a plan to sew or do any of the embellishment stuff I want to try, I don't know where most of anything is. SO my should in this case is a pretty firm reminder that I have to make at least 10 hours a week to inventory tubs in the storage unit so I'll know where to look when I have the scheduled time to be creative. And if anyone tells you that you'll have more time when you retire - they haven't retired.
May I suggest posting a picture or sample of contents on the Outside of the container for easy if and time saving clue
I'm using Airtable to keep track of what I own so I'll know where to go when I am ready to make my next creation, and if I have an accurate inventory of where each piece of fabric is, it will make it so much easier to find what I'm looking for. I have already used 60 adhesive pockets, one on the end of each tub, with more still to adhere, and that doesn't include the two cedar chests. When I finally get a chance to "shop my stash", my stash will be on that Airtable spread sheet. At this moment, I don't even remember all of the fabric that I own. Just moving the tubs into the storage unit has been enlightening as I'm opening each one to throw in some dessicant to keep the fabric from getting moldy or musty and a dryer sheet to keep the critters away. Every tub I open is like buying the fabric all over again. I have more fabric than I'll be able to sew in the remainder of my lifetime!!
Oh boy, I feel like my parents will be in the same boat at some point with the downsizing. It sounds like a beast.
Downsizing is continuous. Having done it 2 X you need to start NOW and never stop! I’m serious
I believe you!
Exactly.
I feel like I'm right in the same spot. We moved in 2020 and settled in a house with 4 acres and there is so much to do its constantly overwhelming. With work and the house my mental energy can be non-existant. I was just watching a youtube video discussing creative blockers and one comment that stayed with me was just because something isn't perfect doesn't mean that it doesn't have value. That inspires me that even if I spend 5 minutes creating something I enjoy its worth it. Glad you started this.
That is definitely true. I'm going to keep that in mind tonight, as my plan is to sit down and do some drawing with a totally new medium. I'm definitely feeling the resistance, knowing it won't be perfect.
And yes! Who knew managing land would actually be work?! I do love it, though.
"to share the slow, quiet, internal journey towards enjoying every moment of this short life" – I loved that line. Congrats on starting this Sarai. I agree completely, writing expands my lens on the world too. Looking forward to more!
Thanks Corbett! Hope to see you guys sometime soon. :)
"I often feel I'm on a treadmill going just a bit too fast, with no way to hop off." - wow. I felt this word for word. Thank you for sharing and making those of us feeling the same feel a little bit less alone!
For me, my to-do item this week is 30 minutes at least three days this week where I sit down and just create. I let everything else stack on top of what I really love to do, and my creative endeavors get pushed to the bottom of the list. Writing that out, I think I'll create an entirely separate creative list so that it doesn't feel like I'm constantly putting everything else over top of what I want to do creatively.
That's a great idea, and one I've been thinking about two. I've been considering building in a couple hours of "creative time" each week, where I do whatever I want, be it drawing, painting, sewing, writing, whatever. Maybe a future prompt I can think about including.
So well said. Often, over my working outside the home years, I felt that if I could just work at home...I finally am working at home (not paid) and I still struggle "to get done." I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. It seems to be a human condition. Thanks for writing this. I won't promise to read every single one, however, I will promise to try. I have unsubscribed to quite a number of things lately (time sucks I called them) just so my inbox will not get so full everyday. It takes too much time to sort it daily.
Good, enjoy your time!
What this made me think of is the luxury we have of worrying about if we are busy, or not. There are people hiding in basements hoping they won’t be bombed or walking displaced along a road with little children having no idea what may come next…yet still, though we could be perfectly happy in our circumstances, we torture ourselves. Why do we do this? Why does our mind not go in the direction of contentment, but cause us to create chaos so that we cannot even see the peace we have?
I've thought about this a lot too, Mary. I'm sure I'll write more about it, but I think a lot has to do with evolutionary survival and the way our brains work. Nature wants us to live, and does not care if we are happy. So our brains are made to find problem, to worry, even when we have every reason to relax. Anyway, I'm sure that's a large part of it.
So maybe it’s those responses we need to really “unpick” and being aware and grateful for what we do have might be a good starting point?❤️
I heard recently that the key to life is making your choices congruent with your true hearts desire. When the pattern pieces match up, it’s well drafted…same with our choices and our heart. Let’s aim to live a well drafted life!
Thank you for this. I have felt the same especially this year. I make time for laundry but not for creating. I am also putting more effort into connecting with people I have lost touch with. I tend to do what needs to be done, not with what I want to do. The comments are inspiring also.
Agreed, and I predict that the comments from you all will be where 90% of the interesting stuff lies. So many of us are in the same boat.
Love this! I also feel like everything has to be elevated to a "should" for me to take time to do it, so this post resonates so deeply with me. Your head/heart/hands division reminds me of an incredible Vermont-based magazine, called Taproot, that you might enjoy (and it's ad-free! woohoo!). Looking forward to more of your insights. :)
It's so difficult to get away from all the "shoulds". And I will have to get Taproot! I've seen it here and there at newsstands and thought it looked interesting, but have yet to read it.
One thing I do is start with "bad" drawing or "bad" writing. I'll just start drawing anything to get going on making my drawings and get unblocked. I will often (although not always) label them with "BAD DRAWING" in all caps. Then I keep drawing. It's to help me remember that nothing I do has to be perfect in order to get the job done. In fact I try also to remember Taylor Mac's words: "Perfection is for a**holes, craft is everything."
This is fantastic, I love the idea of labeling them that way to take the pressure off. Reminds me of Anne Lamott's concept of "shitty first drafts" which has been a saving grace in every creative thing I've ever tried.
Congratulations on leaving the city. My husband and I did the same thing in 2010. I was still working and commuting at the time so the change was not dramatic. It was over a number of years that I was able to connect with the rhythm of the land, the seasons, the weather:
In spring (sometimes early summer) we celebrate Room Temperature Day. In the garden there is Planting Day and I rely upon neighbors who are native to western Washington to let me know when it is safe to put out starts and plant seeds.
The first substantial rain of the season usually comes in September although August is not unheard of. I am always surprised by my relief when it turns wet. Maybe it's because I grew up in warm weather and drought. The way I see it rain is always welcome. Even if the rainy season lasts eight months I will look forward to its return.
Somewhere in September or October we plan a Furwood Harvest Dinner around the garden veggies and invite friends to bring their home grown and homemade goodies for a thanksgiving of sorts.
If we're lucky in winter we have snow days. I don't think I had truly lived until I walked through our forest of fir trees in the falling snow.
Living in the country makes it easy to mark the seasons and celebrate but we had our own city routines too. Friday night has been pizza night for as long as I can remember. We also woke up early once a week to get breakfast together on Thursdays, a custom we call "So Happy It's Thursday" (although we used the acronym).
My take is that ritual is important if not essential in our lives no matter where you live. Rituals like religious or national holidays or even the silly made-up ones get us to slow down, put work aside, enjoy each others' company and live in the moment.
Thank you for the reflection your column has brought me. I had not noticed my own need to slow down until you mentioned it. Peace to you.
I can relate to that feeling of everything feels like it’s on a to do list. Even the fun things. I turned 50 this year and my body tells me to rest. So I’m getting better at doing nothing. And amazingly I actually feel more accomplished and calmer. We need time to rest.
A favorite book of mine you might enjoy:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52623750
I have this book on my to-read list! Thank you for the recommendation. I’m going to bump it up to the top.