My Winter Rituals

Rituals are more than just daily habits. Here are the most important ones for me in winter. What are yours?

Welcome to Making Time. Each week, I share thoughts and ideas for making more time for yourself by building creative energy and establishing rituals and practices. This year, I’m also attempting The 2024 Slowdown, which you can do with me. If you’d like to follow along, you can subscribe for free.

I grew up in a house of rituals. One of the most important in my family was Shabbat dinner every Friday night.

We’d lay a tablecloth in the dining room and dim the lights. My father would light the two Shabbat candles while we recited the blessing, then pass the Kiddush cup of wine, and finally the pushka (charity box), where each child would deposit a few coins. Finally, we’d bless the challah and tear it with our hands before eating together.

As a child, I didn’t think about these rituals much; it was just what we did as a Jewish family. As an adult, I look back and see how this weekly ritual informed so much of what I value today: keeping family close, sharing meals with others, reminders to be generous, creating a peaceful center to come back to.

In The Power of Ritual, Casper ter Kuile writes that there are three ingredients to ritual: intention, attention, and repetition. This is what distinguishes a ritual from a mere habit or convention. It is not just about doing something repeatedly, but about bringing full awareness to it, and doing it with purpose. He writes that “a sacred practice draws us out of our everyday habits and into a deeper presence.”

Rituals have come to hold an important place in the way I structure my days. They’re more than the habits or practices I have day-to-day, as important as those are. They’re the things that ground me in reality and provide a scaffolding for my emotional life. They help me to see more and to notice my world, which is why they also sometimes change with the seasons.

I thought I’d share the ones I’ve practiced this winter and what they give me. I’d love to hear yours too. What are your favorite winter rituals?

Early morning reading

Casper ter Kuile writes about “sacred reading” as a ritual for connecting with narratives that are larger than ourselves.

In winter, I wake up while it’s still dark, let Lucy out, then settle in on the sofa with a cup of coffee and a book for the first hour of my day. In winter, I often start a fire if it’s cold or pull up a blanket.

Typically, I read nonfiction in the mornings and fiction at night. This time is sacred to me. My mind is sharp and clear first thing, and it’s the perfect time to learn or gather inspiration for my day.

Playtime

I feed the animals, and then it’s time for Lucy and I to go outside and play.

I know that playing fetch with your dog may not sound particularly meaningful, but I’ve realized what an important ritual it’s become. It’s the first moment of my day outside, and I really do give it (and Lucy) my full attention. We play our games and run around and I always, always laugh. It’s an incredibly joyful way to start the day, and if I’m lucky I may even see a little sun.

Mindful Meal

My February practice for the 2024 Slowdown is to practice mindful eating at breakfast, which really just means giving full attention to what I’m doing for the few minutes I’m sitting and eating.

Meditation

After a little exercise, I meditate. I have a little bench set up in my office with cushions and a few accoutrement, and I’ve been sitting more or less each day for about 15 years. Sometimes I’ll read a poem or write a few lines in my journal beforehand, or just stare at the mist out the window.

Afternoon Walk

In the colder months, Lucy and I take a walk after lunch every day. I try my best to pay attention to what’s around me, and how different the world looks day to day in winter.

Dinner Together

A final ritual is dinner together. Growing up, my family always sat at the table, blessed the food, and ate dinner together. To this day, cooking and eating with friends and family means a great deal to me.

Every night, Kenn and I light a candle, sit together, and raise our glasses to something good that happened that day. It’s a simple and easy way to remind ourselves that it’s good to be alive and together.

What about you?

I’d love to add in more simple rituals to my day, even if it’s just a moment to stop, pause, and enjoy something I’d normally take for granted.

Do you have any winter rituals? And what makes something a ritual for you? Please share in the comments, because I’d love to hear about yours.

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