I have always loved completing one of my beloved projects. However my body is telling me, "no; not anymore." This makes me want to weep. My lists have been in my head : the perfect - and I mean perfect -Thanksgiving has always been a next-to-impossible undertaking, one that gave me a lot of joy. And there are many others that seemed impossible to do. It breaks my heart that my body is insisting that I slow down. So really, I fall into both groups. I plan to do more than seems possible with every project. Also, I hate having to slow down or stop because of the effects of getting older. It is a sad time for me.
I am pushing 67 yrs of age & due to experiencing a very traumatic childhood where I had no control over my life, I grew up to become a bit of a "Control Freak" where by I have put sooooooo many limitations on my own behaviour. This has resulted in a lot om "missed opportunities" & a genuine fear of never quite measuring up. So my To Do List is always rather long & never quite all ticked off, but I'm a Survivor, so I keep plodding along & try to stay optimistic 🙂
Such an interesting post and topic! I’m totally part of that list making crew—and always behind in my tick offs! I think making those lists and plans—about our business and creative ventures is part of the “romance” of what we do! Imagining and dreaming of those plans and creations coming to life feels “sew” good! —and that okay—as long as you remain grounded when the romance doesn’t become reality! ❤️✂️🧵
Enjoying these posts. This one on using our time hit home. I am 74 and, if I don’t get things done, I fret and scold myself. Yet why shouldn’t I just do as I please except for the essentials? I will read the article again and try to find some balance. Keep up this good work
I’m definitely the one with unrealistic to do lists each DAY. Not even giving myself a week. I have 1368899433 things to do and even if I complete half of them, I still feel unproductive. Slowing down means “stagnant” to me sometimes. I once heard Jay Shetty speak on this topic on an episode of his podcast awhile back. Gave the 3- item to do lists in order of priority. As long as I get these 3 things done, I will feel accomplished today. Helped me out TREMENDOUSLY. Great post!
I try to do this too, Dee! My daily list has 3 top priorities, then I draw a line underneath and list out all the little things. I often don't get those priorities done either, though.
I'm not unique in that I feel busy all day, every day, but also feel like I get nothing done. Just this morning, I woke up and thought about my dreams (literally, my dreams while I'm sleeping). I hear other people say they dream they are flying or on a roller coaster and in my dreams-I'm working (usually with some sort of frustration in the mix).
Ha! I had the exact same thing happen the last 2 mornings! I couldn't sleep properly because I had all these half-formed thoughts about work racing through my mind. Not even important or stressful things, just random stuff!
I'm a list maker, a ridiculously LONG list maker. If I complete a task and it's not on my list, I add it so I can cross it off. (There's at least one other person like me on this earth and she's my best friend.) I've since discovered that having this huge list and not possibly making (what I believe) is a reasonable dent in it is demoralizing. So I still make a long list but now I realistically highlight a certain number of items that is do-able w/i a given week for me. Guess what? I feel more successful AND I'm actually accomplishing more. Oh, and I make sure several fun things are on my list each week so it doesn't seem like a total drudge of tasks.
I read something similar in the book Make Time (which is cute and helpful). They suggest having one highlight for each day. I like that. I've never been able to implement it though, I always go back to lists.
This is so thought provoking. I just read half your article out to my husband and he said it sounds familiar. Both of us really. I’m addicted to a to-do list, crossing things off, that sense of achievement. Will make me think twice next time I write one!
That article on cat scratch fever and that poor young man was fascinating. I’m a veterinarian, and I have a vague memory from microbiology lectures over 20 years ago that the whole ‘crazy cat lady’ stereotype was thought to be related to schizophrenia triggered by a parasite harboured by cats. So fascinating to read now it could well be a bacteria. Thanks for great read this week.
The Alan Watts quote you included answered a question I’ve been asking myself for months. “Why am I procrastinating so much on projects I say I want to finish?” Instead, I distract myself with non-essentials from my to-do list. I fool myself into thinking I’m making progress.
When I read the quote, “Hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present,” I knew I was resisting the present. I’m allowing perfectionism, uncertainty about the outcome, and lack of clarity about the first step to get in my way. The present says, take action. Do whatever is required to move forward by one tiny step. Get traction in any way you can. Then momentum has a better chance of taking hold.
Thank you so much for this, Sarai. I’m loving your thoughtful messages.
I totally think perfectionism is the root of all evil. I'm not one, but my sister is and I've watched so many things pass her by in life because she couldn't do it perfectly. As I get older, I've caught myself doing the same, but I'm all-no, no, no!
You're on to something...keep asking yourself those hard questions.
You are so right, Jeanine. I never considered myself a perfectionist until I read Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. That's such a cliché, I guess, but it really did make me realize how much anxiety came from the need to be perfect, appear perfect, and not screw up.
I read that book years ago and definitely saw pieces of myself, as it pertained to appearance/body image. That kind of perfectionism you describe is definitely triggering for anxiety.
I have always loved completing one of my beloved projects. However my body is telling me, "no; not anymore." This makes me want to weep. My lists have been in my head : the perfect - and I mean perfect -Thanksgiving has always been a next-to-impossible undertaking, one that gave me a lot of joy. And there are many others that seemed impossible to do. It breaks my heart that my body is insisting that I slow down. So really, I fall into both groups. I plan to do more than seems possible with every project. Also, I hate having to slow down or stop because of the effects of getting older. It is a sad time for me.
I'm sorry, Janice. I feel your sadness and it must be a difficult time.
I'm sorry too, Janice. I hope you can care for yourself throughout this.
I am pushing 67 yrs of age & due to experiencing a very traumatic childhood where I had no control over my life, I grew up to become a bit of a "Control Freak" where by I have put sooooooo many limitations on my own behaviour. This has resulted in a lot om "missed opportunities" & a genuine fear of never quite measuring up. So my To Do List is always rather long & never quite all ticked off, but I'm a Survivor, so I keep plodding along & try to stay optimistic 🙂
I'm sure that trauma makes this problem extra difficult. As you said, magnifying the need for control.
Such an interesting post and topic! I’m totally part of that list making crew—and always behind in my tick offs! I think making those lists and plans—about our business and creative ventures is part of the “romance” of what we do! Imagining and dreaming of those plans and creations coming to life feels “sew” good! —and that okay—as long as you remain grounded when the romance doesn’t become reality! ❤️✂️🧵
Yes, such a common affliction for business owners... biting off more than we can chew. But that bite tastes so so good!
Enjoying these posts. This one on using our time hit home. I am 74 and, if I don’t get things done, I fret and scold myself. Yet why shouldn’t I just do as I please except for the essentials? I will read the article again and try to find some balance. Keep up this good work
Jacque, I think you might enjoy this interview with actress Ellen Burstyn on WNYC's show, Death, Sex, and Money. There's a part in there where she talks about having one "should-less" day a week. https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/episodes/how-ellen-burstyn-learned-survival
I’m definitely the one with unrealistic to do lists each DAY. Not even giving myself a week. I have 1368899433 things to do and even if I complete half of them, I still feel unproductive. Slowing down means “stagnant” to me sometimes. I once heard Jay Shetty speak on this topic on an episode of his podcast awhile back. Gave the 3- item to do lists in order of priority. As long as I get these 3 things done, I will feel accomplished today. Helped me out TREMENDOUSLY. Great post!
I try to do this too, Dee! My daily list has 3 top priorities, then I draw a line underneath and list out all the little things. I often don't get those priorities done either, though.
I'm not unique in that I feel busy all day, every day, but also feel like I get nothing done. Just this morning, I woke up and thought about my dreams (literally, my dreams while I'm sleeping). I hear other people say they dream they are flying or on a roller coaster and in my dreams-I'm working (usually with some sort of frustration in the mix).
Really?
I don't even get a break in my subconscious. UGH!
Ha! I had the exact same thing happen the last 2 mornings! I couldn't sleep properly because I had all these half-formed thoughts about work racing through my mind. Not even important or stressful things, just random stuff!
I'm a list maker, a ridiculously LONG list maker. If I complete a task and it's not on my list, I add it so I can cross it off. (There's at least one other person like me on this earth and she's my best friend.) I've since discovered that having this huge list and not possibly making (what I believe) is a reasonable dent in it is demoralizing. So I still make a long list but now I realistically highlight a certain number of items that is do-able w/i a given week for me. Guess what? I feel more successful AND I'm actually accomplishing more. Oh, and I make sure several fun things are on my list each week so it doesn't seem like a total drudge of tasks.
List crossers are my favorite people to be around, at least when I need something from them. :)
Haha!
😂
I read something similar in the book Make Time (which is cute and helpful). They suggest having one highlight for each day. I like that. I've never been able to implement it though, I always go back to lists.
One is not nearly enough! My day would be a failure if I only completed one task on my list. LOL!
This is so thought provoking. I just read half your article out to my husband and he said it sounds familiar. Both of us really. I’m addicted to a to-do list, crossing things off, that sense of achievement. Will make me think twice next time I write one!
That article on cat scratch fever and that poor young man was fascinating. I’m a veterinarian, and I have a vague memory from microbiology lectures over 20 years ago that the whole ‘crazy cat lady’ stereotype was thought to be related to schizophrenia triggered by a parasite harboured by cats. So fascinating to read now it could well be a bacteria. Thanks for great read this week.
The Alan Watts quote you included answered a question I’ve been asking myself for months. “Why am I procrastinating so much on projects I say I want to finish?” Instead, I distract myself with non-essentials from my to-do list. I fool myself into thinking I’m making progress.
When I read the quote, “Hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present,” I knew I was resisting the present. I’m allowing perfectionism, uncertainty about the outcome, and lack of clarity about the first step to get in my way. The present says, take action. Do whatever is required to move forward by one tiny step. Get traction in any way you can. Then momentum has a better chance of taking hold.
Thank you so much for this, Sarai. I’m loving your thoughtful messages.
I totally think perfectionism is the root of all evil. I'm not one, but my sister is and I've watched so many things pass her by in life because she couldn't do it perfectly. As I get older, I've caught myself doing the same, but I'm all-no, no, no!
You're on to something...keep asking yourself those hard questions.
You are so right, Jeanine. I never considered myself a perfectionist until I read Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. That's such a cliché, I guess, but it really did make me realize how much anxiety came from the need to be perfect, appear perfect, and not screw up.
I read that book years ago and definitely saw pieces of myself, as it pertained to appearance/body image. That kind of perfectionism you describe is definitely triggering for anxiety.
Thank you for the support, Jeanine. I took action yesterday after writing my comment. By taking two small steps I now have a project underway. 💕
That's great to hear!