You reminded me that I have a list, Getting Unstuck, of small easy things to do when I sink into a mood and just can’t find a way to join the world. So I read the list, and chose something to do (taking care of my indoor plants) and put aside my mind numbing game of online solitaire, and my day opened up again. In other words, tool kits work!! Thank you for reminding me to use mine. I hope your stress tool kit works for you.
Hi Sarai! I love the idea of a stress tool kit. That sounds super helpful. In mine, I'd include going into the woods, reading for an hour, and cooking something new. It was SO tempting to add things that help me de-stress but are on my to-do list (dishes, cleaning) but I noticed what I was doing and stopped. May you take the time to follow your tool kit this week!
As I was writing it, I realized that that is definitely the most important part... just taking that time and forcibly stopping myself from doing the things that are adding stress. I tend to churn on them.
I would like to suggest adding pot candy and the Farrow & Ball paint deck to your kit 😂 For some reason, the beauty and possibilities of color and pattern (wallpaper, vintage textiles) help calm me and inspire new rabbit holes and hopeful thought directions.
I had the same thought about the self-control article - I felt like they focused so much on how folks with high self-control are negatively perceived by others, but for me, the biggest downside is what you point towards: perfectionism and harshness towards the self. And I do really wonder whether it's actually my inner tendencies towards perfectionism and self-criticism that create the "self-control", and not the other way around; either way, that's the piece of the equation I wanted to learn more about. Because just as "discipline" doesn't have to mean "punishment" (but so many people assume it does), it seems like "self-discipline" way too frequently is created through a very punishing attitude towards oneself, and I'm really curious what it could look like to have self-discipline, but in a "gentle discipline" sort of sense.
You said it perfectly. I think it’s a fine character trait but, like most of them, very harmful when taken to an extreme. I think it’s the same with a lot of harmful behaviors - coping mechanisms gone too far.
The Rubeville newsletter was the best thing I read all week. We’ve started asking our cats what part of rubeville they’re from when they act out. And the bit about men judging women by their eyes and ankles. 😂
I used to plant lots of tulips outside before we moved to deer territory.
That’s good that you’ve learned how to force the tulip bulbs inside! And maybe you can plant daffodils outside with the deer around? Filoli gardens (Bay Area)has a beautiful field of all different daffodils and peach trees. It is so wonderful. There are women walking about in open, flapping galoshes all over the place, which a lot of people get upset about. 😂
You reminded me that I have a list, Getting Unstuck, of small easy things to do when I sink into a mood and just can’t find a way to join the world. So I read the list, and chose something to do (taking care of my indoor plants) and put aside my mind numbing game of online solitaire, and my day opened up again. In other words, tool kits work!! Thank you for reminding me to use mine. I hope your stress tool kit works for you.
I used mine today and went for a long walk, even though my brain told me I didn’t have time.
Hi Sarai! I love the idea of a stress tool kit. That sounds super helpful. In mine, I'd include going into the woods, reading for an hour, and cooking something new. It was SO tempting to add things that help me de-stress but are on my to-do list (dishes, cleaning) but I noticed what I was doing and stopped. May you take the time to follow your tool kit this week!
As I was writing it, I realized that that is definitely the most important part... just taking that time and forcibly stopping myself from doing the things that are adding stress. I tend to churn on them.
I love to work on a jigsaw puzzle for a while, it’s very relaxing to the brain.
I did one for the first time in years recently, along with some other people. It is surprisingly soothing.
I enjoy all of your posts. They always leave me with something to think about. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thank you!
I would like to suggest adding pot candy and the Farrow & Ball paint deck to your kit 😂 For some reason, the beauty and possibilities of color and pattern (wallpaper, vintage textiles) help calm me and inspire new rabbit holes and hopeful thought directions.
Great idea!
I had the same thought about the self-control article - I felt like they focused so much on how folks with high self-control are negatively perceived by others, but for me, the biggest downside is what you point towards: perfectionism and harshness towards the self. And I do really wonder whether it's actually my inner tendencies towards perfectionism and self-criticism that create the "self-control", and not the other way around; either way, that's the piece of the equation I wanted to learn more about. Because just as "discipline" doesn't have to mean "punishment" (but so many people assume it does), it seems like "self-discipline" way too frequently is created through a very punishing attitude towards oneself, and I'm really curious what it could look like to have self-discipline, but in a "gentle discipline" sort of sense.
You said it perfectly. I think it’s a fine character trait but, like most of them, very harmful when taken to an extreme. I think it’s the same with a lot of harmful behaviors - coping mechanisms gone too far.
the link for the video on Kumihimo silk braiding takes me to a different site. I think the hyperlink is wrong.
Thanks, should be fixed now. :)
The Rubeville newsletter was the best thing I read all week. We’ve started asking our cats what part of rubeville they’re from when they act out. And the bit about men judging women by their eyes and ankles. 😂
I used to plant lots of tulips outside before we moved to deer territory.
That’s good that you’ve learned how to force the tulip bulbs inside! And maybe you can plant daffodils outside with the deer around? Filoli gardens (Bay Area)has a beautiful field of all different daffodils and peach trees. It is so wonderful. There are women walking about in open, flapping galoshes all over the place, which a lot of people get upset about. 😂